Life Lessons in 2020: Part 2
One thing I've learned though the chaos of 2020, is that there is no room for this notion of "Good vibes only" in our motherhood journey. Some of you are probably screaming at the screen right now, but hear me out guys...The purpose of this blog post, is to shed light and perhaps showcase another way to look at the phrase "Good vibes only". This notion that we focus only on the positive and good vibes is completely messed up. You guys I'm calling total BS on this idea, why should we push down every negative vibe or tough feeling that comes our way. That seems a little backwards to the motherhood village we are always preaching about.
I've never been one to sugar coat my motherhood journey, and I strongly encourage you to be honest with those around you about what you're going through. I don't hesitate to share the raw and real moments both in conversation and through social media. While I feel that I am real with those around me, in 2020 I began to see many social media influencers on my radar pushing this idea of "Good vibes only" or "Only positivity" which if I'm being honest...leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
We have all been exposed to influencer moms on Instagram, you know the ones who pump a million different products on any given week. Moms who always look like they walked off an Aritzia catalog shoot (don't even pretend like you haven't seen them). Influencer moms who never let their guard down, who rarely remove their masks to be real with their followers. In 2020, moms were thrown into impromptu homeschooling and picking up the pieces of devastated kids. We were left to hold our family together during the chaos of the pandemic. We faced head on new mental health challenges both within ourselves, our spouses and our children. Let's establish that absolutely nothing about this struggle is easy! The very idea, that prominent social media influencers could consistently put themselves out there as "Happy-go-lucky" perfect moms hurt my brain and frankly my heart.
These influencer moms are putting so much effort into maintaining a picture perfect social media grid. I can only imagine how many times they fall apart off the screen, feeling completely 100% alone in their struggle. It can't be easy to consistently portray themselves as living this Pinterest worthy life...when their reality is so much further from it. The reality of the pandemic is that it does not discriminate, it doesn't matter who you are or how much money you have, it has touched every corner of society.
Watching these Pinterest happy mama's made me feel "less than" as a mom. It made me feel like, I was not managing everything as well as I should have been. I saw other moms on Instagram who appeared to be killing it left right and center and it became abundantly clear to me that this whole "Good vibe only" concept could very well be dangerous to the mental health of moms.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think we should sit in a pool of constant negativity. I do feel that instead we should feel comfortable sharing both our struggles and victories with those around us. This may mean narrowing our social media circle, to strictly include those who promote the real and the raw versus a unicorns and rainbows good vibes only approach. Surround yourself with people who will sit with you in your valley and recognize that those feelings are completely 100% valid. They sit with you in your challenges and then reach out their hand to help you rise again. Friends that challenge you to seek the silver lining in your circumstances but don't push you to ignore the tough moments. Find friends who share the real and raw moments of their life in an effort to normalize the chaos of motherhood.
Hear this loud and clear mama's...we can be positive people while still being real. Don't forget it's ok to share your tough moments and your celebrations. We need to applaud mamas who share their loneliest, most difficult and vulnerable moments with the world. For every mom who shares their story...their are four more sitting in silence afraid to share what's really going on. Being a mom is hard, let's create a community that supports one another through EVERYTHING. Can we finally realize that being a real mom means good vibes, sad vibes, angry vibes, anxious vibes, and excited vibes and every single one is unapologetically valid.